ForgetMeNot
by ShiTiger
Summary: "Seven years. It had been seven years since that day. "  Ushio is alone, and sinking deeper into a darkness as black and empty as his own perceived future.  Will anyone be able to pull him out of his depression?  Yaoi.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Ushio and Tora. There is yaoi in this fic!

  


Lonely Christmas

  


  


I'm trapped in this world  
Lonely and fading  
Heartbroke and waiting  
For you to come  
We are stuck in this world  
That's not meant for me  
For me...'  
- Not Meant For Me  
Jonathan Davis

  


Seven years. It had been seven years since that day. 

  


Deep soulless black eyes traced over the photo even as a single finger smoothed delicately over the plastic cover protecting it from harm. Seven years ago, less a day to be exact, they had all been there, in that very livingroom. The man's eyes softened slightly at the sight of familiar old friends smiling back at him. His own youthful dark eyes laughed up at him from where a younger man was sitting in the center of the image. Short black hair hanging around his ears, the grin of a boy, not a man. He had been... 19, when they had taken the picture. It seemed so long ago. 

  


Crouched on either side of the youth were two faces he knew he could never forget. Faces that haunted his dreams endlessly, taunting him... they would continue to do that until the day he died. Those two faces, amidst the sea of friends and relatives, seemed to pierce into him, driving a cold spear into his heart. Unconsciously, he trailed his finger over them, tracing the icy glare of the tiger and the soft glow of the weasel. Two friends... if they could still be called such, who had been lost to him for longer than he cared to admit.

  


Closing the cover of the photo album, the man glanced over the back of the couch and out into the heavy snow that was falling outside. Winter had come quick that year, enveloping the shrine in a thick white blanket, freezing the life out of everything that lived in the soil. And it seemed, that the winter itself was freezing him as well. Tired black eyes surveyed the empty room around him, barren and cold, but he preferred it that way. Christmas Eve and yet no tree stood in the center of the room, no mound of presents for children to open in the morning. Why bother putting up a tree when there was no one there to enjoy it?

  


~I still remember them. All those years ago.~

  


~Flashback~

  


'Move that fuzzy ass, Tora,' Ushio demanded teasingly, as he plopped down on the end of the couch, forcing the beast to shift his legs. 'Brat,' the monster growled lightly, even as he accepted the large cup of hot chocolate from the boy and blew away the steam. 'Are you two arguing again?' Asako's voice came from where she stood in the doorway with a plate of cookies fresh from the oven. The pair gave her innocent smiles, well, if they could be called that coming from a hunter and a monster, not that she believed them anyway. 

  


The front door opened and Ushio heard the sounds of guests entering his home. Sure enough, the livingroom door was suddenly host to three smiling people, the human formed Kamaitachi (sickle weasels).

  


'Hi Ushio! Tora!' Juro greeted them happily, even as his brother and sister, loaded down with presents, entered the room behind him. Karani and Rashin said their hellos, smiling at their favorite demon hunter, before leaving to help with the two girls in the kitchen. 

  


Ushio suddenly found himself pressed up against Tora's side as the beast shifted to let Juro sit down. ~Hm... he never did that for me.~ Ushio couldn't help the sudden jealous thought as he watched the pair smile at each other. ~And what is up with that?~ His brows knitted as he caught the strange, in his opinion anyway, look that passed between them. Not that he cared, nope. They were just his friends, it didn't matter if they looked at each other like... like... Ushio looked away, focusing on his hot chocolate in his hands. Who cares if his friends liked each other like that... it was just weird. Tora and Juro... together? Ew... 

  


Even as he thought that, his eyes were drawn sideways back at the now more snuggling pair. Unable to take the sudden rush of pain, not that he understood why he cared, the boy stood up abruptly and left the room. What he didn't notice was the two pairs of confused eyes watching him go.

  


~End Flashback~

  


'That's right. That was the first night I noticed them together.~ He wasn't sure how long Tora and Juro had been interested in each other, probably since he had brought Juro back to life. Not that he cared how they felt about each other... If he told himself that for long enough, maybe he'd start to believe it.

  


Getting up from the couch, the man let the photo album slip from his fingers. As he made his way out of the room and up the stairs, he didn't notice the album land on the floor, open to a picture of the past. 

  


The lights went out and all was dark and silent in the house. The man, once a hunter with senses keen enough to catch even the slightest sound, fell into the black emptiness of sleep, failing to notice the slight shift of air as a door opened downstairs. Two large figures kept to the shadows as they crept in, pausing as they entered the livingroom. Black and white stared down at the smiling face of a boy, a blue finger tracing it softly as both remembered that day. That day so many years before.

  


...tbc...

  


Author's Note: Yes, this will be a yaoi fic. Who are these mysterious visitors? You'll just have to keep reading and find out. Reviews please!

  



	2. Christmas Morning

Disclaimer: I do not own Ushio and Tora. This is a yaoi fic!

  


  


Christmas Morning

  


  


Ushio was awoken late the next morning to find himself blinking away sleep and unable to remember what he had dreamed. Not that it mattered, because all his dreams had been about Them... ever since that day. And now, looking at his reflection in the mirror, Ushio began to realize that he needed to do something. He couldn't spend the rest of his life wondering about what if's or what may be's. They had left him a long time ago, and they were not going to come back just because he wanted them to. No, they were lost to him forever, and the sooner he came to realize that, the sooner his life would be normal again. 

  


Giving his reflection one last glance, the man threw on one of his white shirts and a pair of black sweat pants before trudging down the stairs to start some... coffee?

  


The sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee came to him as he stood there in the hallway. Uncertain, the man made his way down the hall, only to stop and stare through the door into the livingroom. A huge pine tree stood in the center of the room, decked out in Christmas ordaments and lights that glowed with thousands of different colors. His dark eyes traced to the fire burning in the hearth, and the small mound of presents under the tree. Padding into the room, he knelt down to brush his fingers over one of the presents, revealing a name on the card. ~Ushio~ Who would do this for him?

  


Straightening, the man made his way towards the kitchen once more, his confusion and curiosity growing by the second. His mother and father had died in an accident only a year after Tora and Juro had left, leaving the temple to him in the will. Karani and Rashin had finally left to higher ground, to avoid the humans who were beginning to invade the forest with their roads and parks. Tora and Juro... were never going to return, they had made that perfectly clear to him before they had left. Then who...

  


'Morning Ushio-kun!' a cheerful and very familiar voice echoed the room as the man opened the door. Soft deep blue eyes and a warm smile greeted him even as he stood there, unable to move from the shock. The slim figure of a young man, who, despite the number of times Ushio blinked, was not disappearing. 'Would you like some coffee?' the pleasant voice inquired, even as a hot cup was held out to him, the scent beckoning for him to come closer. Taking one step, and then another, finally reaching out and grasping the warm mug and briefly touching the equally warm fingers of the other man. Ushio stepped back, the cup held tight in his hands as he stared silently at one of the two people he had never thought to see again. Juro just smiled at him, saying not a word as they stood there, watching each other.

  


Soft cursing made them both turn, before Juro stepped around Ushio and leaned out the kitchen doorway. 'Was there a good selection at the bakery today, Tora-koi?' the human formed monster called out, before stepping out into the hallway. Ushio blinked, his feet moving before he realized it, and soon found himself standing in the kitchen doorway, staring even longer at the man who was now coming in the front door. 

  


Even though Ushio knew he'd never seen this man in his life, there was a very strong sense of deja veu as he looked at him. 'You didn't sneak anything from them, did you? Tora,' the last word was an annoyed sigh as the larger man smiled almost guiltily. Juro took one of the heavy brown bags with a shake of his head. 'You can't take the beast out of the man,' the blue haired young man sighed, leaning close to brush his lips over the other man's before pulling away and turning.

  


Ushio was still staring, just trying to make sense of what was happening. The man who had just come in, the one Juro had called Tora, was a head taller than Ushio was now, very muscular with broad shoulders, but a slightly smaller waist. Long orange hair flowed back into a ponytail that ended near his waist. As Juro turned, the other man finally looked at him. Deep rich emerald green eyes, so familiar despite the fact that they were not straight white, stared deep into his own. The sudden jolt of realization hit him, the glass slipping from his fingers to hit the floor with a violent smash.

  


~*~

  


Juro glanced at his mate and lover who was still staring at the closed door of the kitchen. Ushio had finally come to his senses, after Juro had cleaned up the shards of glass on the floor. The man was extremely confused and shocked to see them, but that was no surprise. Juro and Tora hadn't returned to the temple for nearly seven years because they had been unsure whether they were welcome there. Ushio had made it plain, even though he'd never actually said anything, that he was uncomfortable with their relationship. Juro had hoped that Ushio had gotten over it by now, but... maybe it was just a human thing. 

  


'He's upset,' Tora stated suddenly, meeting his lover's eyes. 'Hai. I wish there was some way to speak with him. He gets so closed off whenever I try,' Juro whispered, leaning his head onto Tora's shoulder for support as he sighed. 'He hasn't grown up at all,' the orange haired man growled suddenly, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Tora-koi, he's been living here for 7 years since we left. Have you found it strange that his parents are not here? Maybe they went on a trip,' Juro glanced around, looking for some sign that Ushio truly didn't live alone as it seemed. 

  


'No. The monk and his woman have not been here for a long time. A very long time. Their scents have nearly been washed away by the years... it seems unlikely that either would leave him alone for so long without visiting,' Tora stated, turning his attention back to the kitchen door. Juro let go of him to wander into the livingroom, studying it for anything... homely. Nothing, besides a few picture frames lying in the dust on the mantle... tsk, tsk... Ushio really hasn't been keeping up with the cleaning.

  


~*~

  


~Why are they here? Why are they here? Why are THEY here?~ 

  


Ushio tried to remain calm, focusing on the task in front of him to help block away most of the shock... and the pain. Just seeing them again made his chest ache. The soft chopping sound filled his ears as he continued to cut up the vegetables that he'd hastily taken from the refrigerator. Soup, yes... that was a good thing to make right about now. It would help keep his mind of the pair currently sitting in his livingroom and probably enjoying the warm fire that Ushio had noticed earlier. Sitting together on the couch, very close together, maybe even kis...

  


A hiss of pain escaped his mouth as Ushio felt the knife dig into his finger. Pulling back, he eyed the dark red blood dripping from the cut, silently cursing himself for being so involved in his thoughts not to watch what he was doing. Screwing his eyes shut, the man reached out blindly with his other hand to grab a towel... only to feel soft warm fingers curl around his wrist and pull his injured hand, and Ushio himself, around. Ushio opened his eyes to find himself staring up at the orange haired man who was eyeing his cut intensively. Emerald green eyes turned to stare into his own, filled with a strange emotion that Ushio just couldn't, for the life of him, place. Those green orbs seemed to draw him closer, deeper... until he was drowning in their depths.

  


Something soft lapped at his cut and Ushio blinked, only to realize that Tora had bent his head slightly and had lifted Ushio's cut finger to his mouth and was now sucking on it gently. The dark haired man could only gawk for a moment before the intimate feeling of having such a thing done to him, by a beast he'd never thought he'd see again, began to overwhelm him. A hot rush went through Ushio's body, his face flushed in shock and barely hidden pleasure. As Tora's tongue withdrew from his skin, Ushio became aware of what he was allowing to happen. With a furious shout, he wrenched his hand away, cradling it to his chest while trying to glare the other man into a steaming puddle. Tora just watched him for a moment, as if trying to read his mind, before Ushio finally got up the strength to order the beast out of his kitchen. Tora glared back for a moment before turning and walking out the door. Ushio was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the other pair of blue eyes watching him as the door swung shut.

  


Clutching the edge of the counter, Ushio was suddenly aware that his legs were trembling so badly that he slid down onto the floor to rest. Leaning back, he let his head fall back against the wooden cupboard behind him and struggled not to cry. His mind was filled with images of the past, painful ones that he could never forget. And now... how was he suppose to deal with it now after what Tora had done? Leaning forward, he rested his head on his knees, not noticing that a few tears escaped his clenched eyes to shatter on the cold floor below.

  


...tbc...

  


Author's note: Please review. Yaoi! Can you guess the pairing yet? 

  



	3. Facing the Truth

Disclaimer: I do not own Ushio and Tora. Yaoi!

  


  


Facing the Truth

  


  


It was a whole twenty minutes later when Juro finally knocked on the kitchen door and let himself in. Ushio kept his back to the human formed beast and continued to prepare the sandwiches. 'Ushio...' Juro paused, watching the young human pretending to ignore him. With a sigh, the wind weasel stepped closer and stopped right behind the young man. 

  


'It's been six years, Ushio. Six long years. I had hoped that you would have gotten over this by now, but...' the blue haired man trailed off. 'Gotten over what?' Ushio asked, arranging the sandwiches on a plate, his ears trained on the other man. 'You made it clear when we were last together, that you... had a problem with our relationship. Does it still bother you that we're both male? Or is it that...' Juro blinked when the young man spun around and glared right at him.

  


'I don't have a "Problem" with your relationship. Why you'd pick that baka tora for a mate is beyond me. Still, he's your problem now, you deal with him,' Ushio grumbled, turning back to his sandwiches. 'We're equals, Ushio. I don't deal with him, I work with him. Relationships aren't based on just trying to handle each other. I love Tora. But, it took me a long time to realize that. What are you afraid of, Ushio?' Juro's sudden question startled the dark haired man.

  


'I'm not "Afraid" of anything. Look, why did you two come all the way here? You are the ones who took off six years ago and didn't look back. Why bother to return now? Not that I care or anything,' Ushio commented, his voice taking on an icy edge. 'We left because we felt you were uncomfortable with us being mates. And you were, and still are, despite what you say. We came back because we wanted to make sure you were all right,' Juro announced.

  


'I'm 26, Juro. I don't need you two to baby-sit me. All the evil monsters are dead, and the beast spear is safely put away. The hunter isn't needed anymore, so why not just leave me alone?' Ushio whispered the last part, feeling the depth of angst washing over him. 

  


'Be that as it may, you are still wanted. Tora and I were worried about you,' Juro continued, ignoring the young man's snort. 'Yes, Tora is worried, he just doesn't know how to show it. We both care about you, Ushio.'

  


Ushio froze, his body tensing up at the words that flowed from the weasel's mouth. Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists at his side, he hissed at the monster to get out. Juro just blinked at his back in shock. 'Get out... I said GET OUT!' Ushio screamed, refusing to turn around, refusing to let the other know how much his words had hurt him.

  


The former demon hunter listened as the weasel did just that, the door swinging shut behind him. Finally, Ushio slid down onto his knees, cradling his head in his arms. 'It's not fair. Why? Why couldn't they just leave me alone? I don't want to care anymore. I don't want to be hurt again...'

  


~*~

  


'He's crying again,' Juro turned to look at his mate who had come up behind him. 'He's so angry. What could have filled him with such rage, Tora? He wasn't like this before. Where's our innocent young Ushio?' the blue haired man wrapped his arms around himself, trying to block out the sounds coming from the kitchen. Those sobs, so low and filled with such pain.

  


'Perhaps... we were wrong to come back,' Juro whispered, trying to step around his lover. A hand on his shoulder stopped him, making him look back at the red haired man. 'No. We did the right thing. The brat... Ushio, needs us now,' Tora grumbled, clearly trying not to let his own feelings for the boy show. 'You do care about him,' Juro smiled, tears rising into his own eyes. 'Someone has to look after him,' Tora replied. 

  


~*~

  


~It's been so quiet. I wonder if they're gone.~ A pang of panic ran through the man's heart as he envisioned a future without ever seeing "Them" again. It would hurt... perhaps too much to bear. But, if he could just lock up the feelings, then he would be able to... No, better that they leave, then for them to find out... If they ever found out...

  


Ushio shuddered at the thought. Juro would hate him, Tora would look at him with disgust. They didn't care about him. Who could care for a broken soul?

  


...tbc...

  


Author's Note: Yes, it is pretty angst filled. I can't help it, my best writing is angst romance. Please Review!

  



	4. Understanding

Disclaimer: I do not own Ushio and Tora. This is a yaoi Tora x Juro x Ushio fic, but I'm sure you've figured it out by now.

  


  


Understanding

  


  


The sound of a door closing brought Ushio out of his dark thoughts. Raising his head, he swept the trail of tears away from his cheeks using the back of his hand and stood up. Sniffing, the man crossed the kitchen and gently opened the door, glancing out into the hallway. Juro and Tora were gone. 

  


Feeling an overwhelming sense of sadness, the young man slipped into the livingroom. His eyes were drawn to the Christmas tree, still tall and proud in its shining glory, unaware of the heart that had shattered once again. A single gift stood out from all the others, one that drew him closer until he found himself kneeling in front of the tree. Hands outstretched, Ushio picked up the rectangular shape, peeling off the golden paper to reveal the secret underneath. 

  


Very familiar black eyes stared back at him, filled with joy and happiness. Ushio blinked, shocked to the core as he held the picture frame with both hands, his eyes focused on the young boy smiling at him. It was... another picture, from years ago. Only, in this one, Tora and Juro... were staring at him. It was strange, he'd been sure that the pair only had eyes for each other that day. Except, there was something in their eyes that made his heart skip a beat, a possessiveness that shocked him.

  


Then, he remembered the moment he'd pushed so far back in his mind. At the time, his confusion over realizing the pair were together was enough of a shock without pondering how they'd looked at him that day.

  


~Flashback~

  


'Ok, picture time! Ushio, where are you?!' Asako called, her voice drawing the boy out of the kitchen. 'What is it?' he asked, placing his now full cup of hot chocolate on the table. The short haired girl waved the camera in her hand and motioned to the couch where Tora and Juro were sitting close together. 'Pictures. Now, sit down between them. Well, are you waiting for an official invitation?!' Asako practically yelled, getting annoyed at her best friend. 'Ok, ok,' Ushio grumbled, waiting until Juro and Tora had shifted apart before slipping in between them. 

  


It felt so weird, sitting between the two love birds. And yet, it felt so right. Ushio glanced up to see the camera focusing on him and smiled. Sneaking a peek to one side, Ushio was startled to meet the intense black eyes of the wind weasel. Flicking his eyes to the other side, the boy found his long time partner also watching him, his white eyes just as intense. One bright flash later, and Ushio wasn't thinking much else. 

  


~end Flashback~

  


Ushio blinked as his fingers pulled a small sheet of paper out from where it had been stuck to the back of the picture frame. Juro's delicate handwriting caught his eye as he skimmed what appeared to be a letter... addressed to him.

  


Tears started to stream down his cheeks, blurring the letters on the page. 

  


/We left because our relationship upset you./

  


/We've both grown to care about you very much. Even after all these years, we still love you./

  


/We had hoped, that perhaps, you loved us in return./

  


/We hope to be by your side when you read this./

  


/Baka, we love you./

  


/We love you./

  


Tears streamed down his cheeks, his head bowed over the frame he clutched painfully hard to his chest. They cared about him, and he chased them away. Flashes of anger and hopelessness hit him at the same time, his teeth clenched tightly together. In his state of despair, Ushio didn't even hear the sudden shift of air in the room, unaware of "Their" arrival. 

  


'Oh, Ushio-kun,' Juro's gentle voice flooded through his thoughts, as startling as the two hands now gripping his shoulders. Twisting his head, the man blinked back into the weasel demon's dark eyes. Blue furred hands outstretched, shifting into pale soft skinned human hands as Juro wiped away the tears from the young man's eyes.

  


'Baka. Like we'd actually leave,' Tora grumbled, when dark eyes turned to him. 'Does this mean...' Ushio breathed, staring at the pair wide eyed. 'We're staying, of course,' Tora stated, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Unless... you don't want us to,' Juro whispered, leaving the decision up to the young man.

  


Ushio's head bowed slightly, ebony bangs shadowing his eyes for a moment, a painful moment in which both monsters wondered if they'd made the right decision. Tora grunted and blinked down in shock when the young man suddenly leapt at him, hugging him tightly around the waist, face pressed against his fur. Juro smiled to himself as he watched Tora, who looked uncertain of what to do, took hold of the man's shoulders gently. 

  


'I did miss you. Both of you... baka monsters,' Ushio choked out, fighting back tears. 'It's ok, Ushio-kun,' Juro whispered, tugging the human into his arms and looking down into dark eyes which shone with relief. 'We missed you too,' the weasel man said, leading the youth towards the couch. 

  


The room was silent for a time, as Ushio shifted to let Tora slide his form around, laying fully on the back of the couch, his head and arms on the side nearest Ushio's head. Juro took a seat next to the young man and waited. Hands clenching in his lap, Ushio's words were deep and mourningfull when he next spoke. 'I'm sorry.'

  


'It's ok. There was nothing to forgive. If anything, we should be apologizing for not realizing it sooner. Right Tora?' Juro directed his gaze at the monster lord lounging beside them. 'Humph! Like I'd ever apologize to a hunter,' the tiger growled, sounding faintly annoyed. Ushio simply smiled up at the beast, he'd expected that kind of response anyway. 

  


Instead, the young man leaned back against the wall of soft orange fur, welcoming the loving embrace. Glancing up, Ushio nearly laughed at the shocked look on the beast's face. 'Love you,' the man whispered, grabbing hold of one of the monster's long ears and pulling him gently down for an upside-down kiss. Juro nearly laughed as his former lover's giant white eyes bugged out, before he decided to take advantage of the situation.

  


'Hey, let him breath,' Juro announced a minute later, watching the liplocked pair. Tora pulled back first, smirking across at the human formed weasel, before looking down at the man leaning weakly back against him. 'I should have done this years ago,' the monster lord mused to himself at the idea of having the demon hunter completely at his mercy all those years ago. It might have saved him a few whacks with the spear.

  


Ushio came to his senses, after pulling himself away from the beast, and turned to Juro. 'I never thought...' the man trailed off, looking away with a hint of sadness in his eyes. Juro reached out, grasping the man's chin and pulling his face back to face him. Looking deep into black eyes, he whispered, 'I know. But, it is happening now.' 

  


Tora rolled his eyes as Juro leaned down for a gentle kiss, holding Ushio close. Moments later, they pulled apart, only for Ushio to lean back again, eyes falling half closed. 'Try to get some rest. Don't worry, we will be here when you wake up,' Juro promised, receiving a slight nod from the youth. 'Love you too, Juro,' the boy whispered, eyes falling closed. It didn't take him long to slip completely into sleep, not after the stressful day he'd had.

  


The sound of the coffee maker broke the silence less than 10 minutes later and Juro rose to get it. Taking a moment, the young human formed monster leaned down to brush his lips against Ushio's forehead and whisper, 'We're never leaving you alone again, Ushio. Our beautiful Ushio.'

  


..owari...

  


  


Author's Note: Kawaii! Such a sweet ending, if I do say so myself. Well, review please! 

  



End file.
